A faith crisis or faith transition is a time when foundational beliefs, usually of a religious nature, are challenged, questioned, doubted, nuanced, or even abandoned. This can lead to people moving away from their religious traditions and communities. It is often experienced as an exciting and also scary process that hits at the core of many parts of personal identity and relationships. It is a process that can take anywhere from weeks to years. Getting to a place where one feels like things are “resolved” is highly subjective and depends on the individual and the system they are a part of.
The Challenge of Faith Transitions
Natasha Helfer has been working with people going through faith transitions for the bulk of her 30-year career. She has seen first-hand the trends that many surveys are reporting, with a global, fast-growing population of people who are leaving organized religion. This can be particularly challenging for those who leave high-demand or high-control religious communities since there is more social pushback from their families and fellow churchgoers. People in these situations tend to have complex feelings and relational difficulties that are hard to understand or know how to get help for.
Developing Support Systems
Due to the level of distress Natasha Helfer has seen in her practice around faith transitions, she has developed many approaches, programs, trainings, and groups to help people have resources and strategies during a time that is often described as lonely, isolating, confusing, depressing, and full of anger and betrayal.
Five Areas Affected by Faith Transitions
Natasha Helfer has identified five areas of a person’s life that are deeply affected during a faith transition, with the hope that people will be able to better understand the complexities of their experience while also making informed choices that will help keep their mental health and relationships intact. These five areas are:
- Personal Identity: A faith transitioner will deal with many shifts of thought going from one worldview to another. This can be quite daunting when you think of how many beliefs can be affected. For example, some common questions regularly heard include:
- “What meaning is there in life now? What purpose is there?”
- “Do I still believe in God? An afterlife? Scripture?”
- “What morals and values do I ascribe to?”
- “How do I make sense of suffering and injustice in the world?”
- “How is this affecting my mental health?”
- Primary Relationships: A faith transitioner will need to communicate their shifts in beliefs and practices to the people they are closest to. A shift in belief may be particularly difficult to disclose to a spouse or primary partner, who may see the changes as threatening or scary to their way of life. Whether a couple becomes “mixed-faith” or they leave their church community together, they will need new skills and direction.
- Sexuality: A faith transitioner will typically start seeing sexuality through a new lens. Behaviors that were not allowed or concepts that were prohibited are now reevaluated. This can include things as foundational as sexual orientation and gender identity. It can also include deconstructing misinformation and ideas about what was taught to be “sinful” (e.g., masturbation, premarital sex, oral sex, consumption of sexual media, use of sex toys).
- Parenting: If a faith transitioner is also a parent, it can cause much distress to no longer have their original parenting plan in place. Parents worry about harm they may have caused their children while practicing certain religious practices and how to do necessary repair work. They may also worry about how to go forward in ways where they can still teach their children morals and values, or how to support children who still want to stay involved in the faith.
- Community: Although faith transitioners may become quite comfortable with their decision to shift beliefs, they often bemoan the loss of built-in community their church environments offered. When one stops attending weekly church services, it can leave a lonely hole to fill. Depending on how the churchgoers respond, people may lose their friends altogether—even outside of church service because those folks may believe they will be negatively influenced. Faith transitioners can even face monetary consequences in income or work environments. Some people may no longer feel comfortable doing business with a person who has “lost their faith.”
Personalized Guidance and Support for Faith Transitions
Faith and spiritual exploration are normal processes of the human journey. Many stay in the faiths of their upbringings—and many do not. Unfortunately, not many resources exist for those who leave. If you are in the latter and the struggles listed above sound familiar, you may want to consider taking advantage of the many resources Natasha Helfer has specifically curated for those in your position.
Natasha Helfer has put together a specialized team specifically chosen and trained to help with every single issue listed above, including certified sex therapists. Natasha Helfer wants to help you develop an individualized plan to get you back on track after what is a disorienting and difficult process. St. John of the Cross, a sixteenth-century Carmelite monk, coined the phrase “the dark night of the soul” to describe these faith transitions and journeys. Although dealing with darkness is a normal part of any monumental paradigm shift, there is light at the end of the tunnel. You can take a pivotal first step in finding your best path forward. Natasha Helfer is committed to helping you do just that.
Steps to Navigate Faith Transition
- Take it slow. Although feelings of anxiety are common, there is usually no emergency in a faith transition—unless you are dealing with a fundamental sect. You can take all the time you need.
- If married, involve your spouse as soon as possible. They may not react well at first. But it is usually better to involve them in the process of your change than for them to feel betrayed by not having been told that this was something going on in the first place.
- Just like you have a right to your feelings and beliefs—so do your friends and family. Feeling supported by each other, especially in a marital relationship, will be an important task to prioritize and focus on—especially if you do not agree on the issues you are bringing up.
- If married, stay away from unilateral decisions. Include your spouse in the negotiation of the lifestyle changes that may be a part of your transition (e.g., change in church attendance or worship observance).
- Remember that when facing change, we tend to focus on differences that stand out instead of similarities that persist. There are many, many things you will still have in common with the people you love. Principles such as love, charity, forgiveness, patience—these are things most of us value regardless of where you end up in relation to your faith traditions.
- Seek professional help to aid you in the management of personal effects, marital and relational ramifications as well as complications you might face within your extended family and community at large.
Again, shifts in faith and belief are a normal part of a personal journey—even necessary for spiritual growth and expansion. Getting the support you need is something you are deserving of and can find helpful in an otherwise tumultuous time.